The Christmas frenzy is over, and the kind lady of the parsonage and Yours Truly are sitting looking at our Christmas loot. Just a few days ago, the house was ablaze with Christmas lights and the rafters resonated with Christmas delight. Now, to my delight, tranquility is walking through our house on tiptoe.
Why does something as wonderful as Christmas take so long to prepare and happen so quickly? As it is today, there are only 360 more days left until next Christmas. I don’t think I have enough time to prepare to do all of this again.
However, the countdown begins. With the strange possibility that something can be done, I propose that we celebrate Christmas every even-numbered year because of so many odd years in my life.
As I examine my Christmas loot, various thoughts, like sugar plums, dance in my head. The main thought is simply, what am I going to do with all these gifts? I have enough gifts that will last me the rest of my life if I live to be 100. Of course, if I live to be 110, I may need another gift.
My gifts are divided into several categories.
In the first category, there is the aftershave, cologne, and deodorant. Obviously, those who know me best think I stink. The first thing that comes to mind when you think of me is the Bible verse, “It already sucks” (John 11:39). At least they are biblical.
I just wish everyone knew that on Saturday night, like clockwork, I take a bath whether I need it or not. I’d tell you I need it more than I don’t. The best time to smell myself is Sunday morning, fresh out of the Saturday night shower and after I’ve doused myself with my Christmas cologne. Other than that, I make no guarantees.
I am tempted, for some family function, to spray on every brand of aftershave and cologne that I have received as a Christmas present. Maybe someone will get a clue that I have enough.
The second category of Christmas gifts is clothing. This covers a large area … I am a large man. There are two sizes associated with the Christmas clothing that I receive each year. Either they are too small or too big. None of my relatives know me that well.
The only clothes I have left are ties, and I have enough ties to have a nice tie party. I have one candidate in mind, actually several candidates.
When it comes to Christmas gifts, there are only two types that I really accept each year. Gifts that I like and gifts from people that I like. As a general rule, I don’t accept gifts from people I don’t like.
To this date, I have not had the opportunity to refuse a gift like that from such a person. But I still have my principle, if not your interest.
All of this brings me to my current dilemma. What can I do with all these Christmas presents, especially the ones that I can’t use? What is the best thing to do, give again or return these Christmas gifts?
I like the idea of returning gifts that I can’t wear or wear in exchange for something I can wear or wear. It’s a simple matter of going back to the mall and negotiating the exchange.
Of course, before I can negotiate the exchange, I have to wage war on millions of people who want to do the same. Although it’s nice to know that you are on the same page as other people, I wish I were reading another book.
If you think the mall is a dangerous place before Christmas, try going the day after Christmas.
It never fails, by the time I have waited in line for my turn to make the exchange; They don’t have my size anymore and they give me a rain check. I really hate when it rains on my parade.
Then there is the idea of gifting again. This idea begins to appeal to me more and more. For this reason, when I unwrap my gifts, I am very careful not to tear the wrapping paper. This way, I not only have next year’s Christmas present, but I have the wrapping paper to go along with it.
The first Christmas I thought about was a high-profile day in my life. I was proud of myself that I could kill several birds with one stone. Unbeknownst to me, the biggest bird I killed was myself.
This didn’t manifest itself until the following Christmas when, by not thinking properly, I gave people the gift they gave me the previous Christmas. Trust me; He had many “explanations” to do.
No one tells you this about Christmas in those etiquette books, but if you’re going to give a Christmas gift again, make sure you remember who gave it to you in the first place.
It is difficult trying to find the perfect gift, as only one person has mastered its delicacy. The Bible says: “Every good gift and every perfect gift descends from above from the Father of lights, in whom there is no change, nor shadow of variation.” James 1:17).
The gift that God gives is one that you will have no reason to return.