Since the breakup, you’ve been wanting and waiting for a sign from the universe suggesting that your ex-boyfriend wants you back, right? It’s understandable. You still love him and you feel like the breakup was a mistake. Unfortunately, your ex seems to have moved on without giving much thought to what you would like. But now you’ve heard from his friend. It can’t just be an innocent gesture, right? The friend must have been sent by your ex to see how you are. At least that’s what your broken heart is trying to tell you. Sadly, I am here to tell you something very different. The fact that a friend of your ex’s made contact means very little in the big picture. In fact, don’t be surprised to learn that your ex had absolutely nothing to do with it.
When a breakup occurs, it affects everyone in the emotional neighborhood. Not only are you and your boyfriend required to deal with the emotions that come with the end of a relationship, but your friends and family must also learn to deal with them. When someone we love goes through a breakup, we not only have to watch them suffer, but we must face the reality that their partner will no longer be a regular part of our lives. That may be what’s going on with your ex-boyfriend’s friend. He or she has finally realized that you are no longer part of the inner circle and they miss you. Getting close to you may very well be their way of forging a new friendship that doesn’t include your ex.
Another reason a friend of an ex-partner often shows up unexpectedly is that they are looking to get back something that belonged to him. In other words, your ex boyfriend may have sent his friend on a mission to get something back from him that you have in your possession. You can usually remove this motivation fairly quickly if the friend goes from wondering how you are to asking how they can get the item back for your ex. Be careful not to be offended by this. If the roles were reversed and your ex had something significant that belonged to you, you can ask someone to look for that as well. It is important not to take any of your frustrations from breaking up with the friend, who may be nothing more than an innocent bystander who is trying to help someone you love.
Obviously, if you have a renewed relationship with your ex at some point, you hope that the reason your friend contacted you was to do undercover and undercover work to see where you are emotionally and if you have started dating again. . Don’t make the mistake of concluding that this is what they are doing if they ask you if you have a new guy in your life. Again, this may be normal human curiosity. It is much better to moderate what you share with the friend for now until you have a clearer idea of what he really wants from you.
If you determine that they are seeking information on behalf of your ex boyfriend, be careful how much you share. If your ex went to the trouble of sending someone to gather information for him, he is very interested in getting back with you. Make him squirm a bit by keeping your emotions close and sharing only small parts of what is happening. That way, the friend will inform your ex that they are not really sure what you are doing and that curiosity will definitely stimulate your boyfriend’s interest.
I want to emphasize how important it is to take an emotional step back from all of this before putting too much emotional energy on the idea of getting back together with your ex. When we want something, sometimes we see things that don’t really exist. Be honest with yourself about why your ex boyfriend’s friend has come into your life. Take some time to figure out their motivations and if they really just want to be your friends, with no hidden agenda, consider embracing that. We can never have too many friends and you never know if this new friendship can help ease the pain of the breakup so that you can finally move on with your life as a happier, more emotionally balanced woman.