We spend a lot of time here exposing the ‘hidden detractors’. By this I mean anything that possibly prevents you from meeting the type of woman you want to meet and/or have full control over continuing the relationship when you choose to, but are not yet fully in control.
I think one of the darkest “hidden detractors” for many involves a lack of display in the area of bravery.
That’s right, simple “courage”.
About a month ago, I talked to you about “Six Ways to Be a Man.” Each of those respective suggestions, you’ll recall, was rated “strength.”
Still, the reason “courage” wasn’t singled out as one of the half-dozen on that list of male indicators that drive women crazy is very simple.
Courage, as it turns out, is an overarching theme that literally permeates a man’s being. When you successfully “inspire confidence,” you have essentially, by definition, succeeded in assuring a woman of her own personal level of courage.
So this time, let’s describe exactly what courage is. And more specifically, let’s talk about the kind of courage that women in particular find irresistibly attractive.
I’ll give you a hint: it’s No found in the Jeff Foxworthy moments when we tell everyone, “Hey, check this out!” No, pointless nonsense turns women off, as does “showing off” for the sole purpose of impressing them.
So here we go… half a dozen ways to remove wussification for good and run hard:
1) Courage when expected so obvious
If most ordinary human beings can cope with something, you should too. It is not unusual to have phobias, even irrational ones. But know this: If you’re afraid of flying, crossing bridges, or taking the elevator, you’re NOT exactly inspiring confidence in a woman who probably has no such fear. Your ability to inspire confidence takes a direct hit when you’re scared, when even most women don’t flinch.
It is crucial to understand this concept accurately. No one is asking you to drive in an ice storm, eat rattlesnakes like freaking Steve Irwin, or even eat food off the ground.
But if you have a hissing fit when a bee you’re not even deathly allergic to flies within five feet of you, and the women around you are like, “Um… dude, what’s the problem?” the times you know you have to learn to get over it.
2) Courage in the face of the unknown
What happens when there is a question mark ahead? Do you keep your head up and boldly face the music, or do you stick your head in the sand and procrastinate as long as humanly possible?
A key example, made hilariously famous by George Lopez in one of his routines, is when a man knows he has a medical problem but refuses to see a doctor.
Knowing that the doctor could tell you any number of things ranging from the innocuous to the devastating, you go anyway and fix it.
“It’s better not to know…besides, I’ll be charged for everything!” It’s funny when George Lopez says it, but it would show a woman in your life that you’re a complete coward if YOU said it.
If you know the company is announcing layoffs today, go to work. Whatever it is, unless it’s armed and deadly and you’re not, you take it on. Women love initiative and leadership.
3) Courage to achieve what motivates you
I don’t know how many guys I’ve heard talk about what they dream of doing, or where they dream of going… followed quickly by a sentence that begins with the word “but”.
“Oh man, I WOULD LOVE to go to [insert exotic destination here]. But what if I get arrested and put in jail there or get some weird disease while I’m there?
“Wow…I WOULD LOVE to get a motorcycle license. But I’m really scared I’m going to have an accident.”
All of this is BORING for women, who often crave thrills in their lives.
The most impressive irony of all in that regard is that I am racking my brains, but I think I have never I suggested that a woman join me for something adventurous and that she adamantly refused…as long as I inspired her confidence.
4) Value when the chips are low
When it comes to “fight or flight,” women are counting on you to keep a cool head and make the right decision. Just as the NBA star wants the ball when his team is down a point with five seconds left on the clock, you, too, should look to call the shots when a crisis looms.
Whether it’s a family problem, a job loss, a car accident, a spider in the bathroom, or a strange sound in the middle of the night, you take the proverbial bull by the horns.
5) Courage among men
If you are constantly dominated and generally abused by the AMOGs around you, women will not be impressed by your passivity. Have the courage to suggest ideas, take the lead in the face of ambiguity, and remain reasonable when foolishly provoked.
Nothing inspires more confidence in a woman than this. You are not starting fights in a bar, but you are standing your ground and refusing to be a doormat.
Of course, there is one last axis on which the previous five examples are based…
6) Courage Towards HER
You shouldn’t be afraid of woman herself.
This means that you approach her and talk to her the first time you meet her without fear, which in turn will help her feel comfortable with you.
This also means that you don’t know and you “kiss” because you’re afraid of losing her favor or upsetting her. And, especially, it means that you don’t try to sell her every last original idea you have, at least offend her or don’t give her what she wants.
Most men are afraid of making a woman cry. You have to understand that women are more bothered by your cowardice in telling the truth than by your honesty, as long as you keep it in their best interests.
I mentioned that lack of courage is often a “hidden detractor.” Seriously, in this day and age of secure cubicle jobs and sedentary lifestyles, it’s all too easy for us to overlook the fact that we’re even lacking in this area. But make no mistake, women have a sixth sense about these things. Therefore, developing genuine courage, backed by sound reasoning skills, should be every man’s goal.
Here’s the thing.
I could give you a set of “rules” to follow. I could give you a checklist of things to do that would allow you, at least for the time being, to fool a woman or two into thinking you have everything under control.
But ultimately, the checklist would fail him. You can’t be groping for notes when a situation arises that requires genuine courage.